Am I doing it right?

 Sometimes I really feel am I doing it right?

 all these emotions all these feelings inside me are these even justified??

sometimes I feel my family and my parents are somehow strict and toxic in some kind of way and then I am full of rage thinking of leaving the country all alone 

and the moment when it comes to leaving house and going back to pg life after the holidays I go back with a heavy heart and feel sorry for not being the "perfect" daughter I don't know if I will ever be their perfect kind but I try my best ......I may not be very intelligent or good at everything but I still love them even after they are sometimes mean to me 

I am not saying they do not but still somehow it feels like they do not understand me the way I want to or they just don't get me. Did I get bad??Did I get extra??? Am I being a pressure or "bad" on them???

I really don't understand.... maybe I'm just overthinking, but I love you all......